Impressions of X-Men: First Class

[I realize these review-ish posts aren't and shouldn't necessarily change your mind on whether or not to see said movie, so check Rotten Tomatoes or imdb.com for more legitimate ratings.]

How can you take this seriously?

• I like the subtle nods to the previous franchises via cameos.
• For some reason, I only liked Kevin Bacon's German version of Sebastian Shaw. His villany was a little dry for what I was expecting.
• Beast's makeup was whack.
• The friendship between Charles/Erik had to be developed well enough to be a successful origin story, and I thought it was.
• The inclusion of Angel, Azazel, and the Riptide (tornado dude) could've been done well but they were sooooooo vanilla. Boring.
• The parallels between the mutants' problems and the civil rights movement during Cold War tensions was captured very well. I was subconsciously forced to choose sides, too.

All that being said, I hope there's no sequel or reboot. Marvel Studios would make a much better version, hands down. (Which is why I offer early skepticism about the Spider-Man reboot, as well.)

Maury: The Guiltiest Pleasure of Them All

What could I add about this TV staple that we don't already know: it's white trash themed daytime escapism at its finest. Cheap laughs come for a cheap price, namely the degradation of particularly lowly people.

Watch out for these moves from yours truly in the near future...

We know about the paternity tests (which could honestly be a show by itself), but did you also know about popular topics such as:

• Older men/women accusing their very young significant other of infidelity (lie detectors!)
• Shocking sex secrets (it's classy to wait to reveal it on TV)
  
• Troubled families (wild teenagers, abusive spouses)
  

I normally wouldn't advocate the watching of shows like this, but Maury has become such a social caricature that you honestly find yourself laughing too much to be disappointed at the type of people our society has managed to produce (which actually is quite disappointing). If for nothing else, watch it to realize your life and its troubles aren't as dumb as these clowns have made it for themselves.

Well, apparently there's a cure for HIV, but it could kill you.

Link here.

I've been wanting to mention this for a little while now, but I wanted to offer a little perspective on some aspects of what has been considered our modern plague.

Growing up, the connotation of contracting HIV was more or less a bleak death sentence. Fueled by notable celebrity news from the likes of Magic Johnson, Pedro Zamora of Real World fame, Easy-E, the onus on awareness and funding towards a cure became paramount.

As if this dude needs another reason to smile.

Now in 2011, with better awareness and the advent of antiviral cocktails, the condition has become much more manageable, Alas, we finally have our less than perfect cure. Truthfully, I feel it's a modern marvel for this to have happened. It's clear we have a long way to go, but for a disease that was once impossibly hopeless to cope with, we might have somewhat of a light at the end of the tunnel...

BFD #2: YouTube Vlog personalities

Here's looking at you, the likes of NigaHiga, Shane Dawson, KevJumba, and communitychannel. The bottom line: I get it and I don't get it.

The second most powerful button on the Internet behind the ubiquitous  "Search" button

What I do get: people are expressive. YouTube is a fantastic media in which we can express multiple ideas and feelings towards a myriad of subjects, whether it be via vlogging, singing cover and/or original songs, or even full-blown movie-like sketches/sequences. So, if you're willing to put in the production effort to put your thoughts/rants/musings in a digestible form then hey, go for it. What's even better is that Google ACTUALLY pays you if you consistently reach view quotas (a.k.a people really like you) and therefore essentially help drive web traffic (read: ad revenue) to YouTube. The Internet's adulation, your devoted fan base, and new income stream drives the onus to create more content, and the cycle is thus perpetuated.

What I don't get: it's possible that I am way off base here, but it doesn't seem to me that these folks are particularly talented or engaging in any sustainable way. Sure they're cutesy and/or attractive, exude a likable personality, and are clearly hard and nurturing the fan base that ultimately generates $$$, but I feel like I don't need a thousand more Tyler Perry-esque "I'm going to play every character" types doing just vlogs. I realize this is drinking some powerful Haterade here, and I don't even expect for my blog to be particularly insightful outside of my family and friends. Talent has and will be plucked out from YouTube forever more, so I just feel like these guys are the best of what's left.

That being said, please humor me and suppose my previous thesis could be moderately accepted. What is their popularity an indictment of? Subscribers. Maybe this vlog medium projects a faux-intimacy that engages in a personal way not unlike when you scroll down Facebook's news feed. (You aren't really friends with them though.) These subscribers' need to consume such large amounts of Internet media shadows the possibility that the content could be inevitably subpar, and therefore, it doesn't really matter to them. I guess you can like what you like, but don't try convincing me that this is somehow a Big F'ing Deal.

What I do like: in a nutshell, potentially viral material. I watch it, know why it's funny without much introduction, and I'm out. No developing of relationships with the vlogger and the viewer, just a simple concept and/or subject done entertainingly, notably:

• iTr3vor: (My sister Katie's favorite) This [pretty effeminate] kid goes to Apple Stores to uploads videos of him dancing wildly to songs in front of the demo MacBook webcams. What's refreshing is that he simply doesn't care and just does his thing because he clearly enjoys it.
• Epic Meal Time: "We make your dreams come true, and then we eat them." They make gluttonous versions of meal time staples and eat it, complete with fat/calorie counter while you watch them cook it.
• Professional Russian: I'm not too big into this but it illustrates my point well. This guy just shoots guns. That's it. Granted, he has a lot of them. If Major Payne went into his own version of Toys'R'Us, it would look like this web series.
• Cat videos: Man, no explaination required.

Happy YouTubing, y'all!

Ben & Sarah [backdated post]

Today I was an usher at the wedding of my dear friends Ben Yee and Sarah Yi (pronounced the same), both met from our times at UT. We all met through a group of common friends we refer commonly as "The Crew", and our antics hanging out with one another made a strong impression on my college experience.

Back when I was a freshman meeting these two, it didn't dawn on me that the relationships that began in college have that high a likelihood to culminate in marriage. Looking at Mr. X and Ms. O through a naive lens, far off thoughts like "she's the one" or "I'm going to marry him/her" don't really have context or take root in such carefree times. Seeing them exchange their vows today really hit home and put me in a profound state of awe...if it makes sense, I liken it to realizing a plant that you saw at its start is now actually a large tree with the years and nurturing you always assumed it would have. Kinda crazy.

[Anyway, back in the closet, you Romantic!] This post is just a quick shout out to these two and their new wedded lives together in Round Rock (a.k.a. another possible place to stay in Austin when I visit). Below is a song stuck in my head and now I have to share the love:

Why am I so out of shape?

As previously mentioned in my "Ode to Bradley Cooper" post, I really need to get back in peak physical shape. Many of you who know me know that this desire is backed by a multi-fold reasoning so ingrained into my psyche that failure equates to a death sentence physically, emotionally, and socially (however twisted that reasoning may be). I really gotta follow through, dammit!

"Screw tanning, you can totally see my abs better under moonlight." [cue gratuitous howling]

Apart from impending wagers (read: motivation) and the upcoming beach-friendly summer months, I have put my foot down on this goal as I realize my best years of potential physical awesomeness are about to be behind me. If you know me, please scold me like a little child if/when I stray and reference this post as justification. Thanks in advance.

Aspiring to be like Bradley Cooper probably isn't a bad idea...

Today, a viral clip of The Hangover 2 star features an interview...completely in French. Apparently homeboy knows a little more about Paris than just croissants. BALLER!!! Link here.

I gotta say, this has gotta shoot him up the top of my [no homo] "man-crush" list. As if his good looks and apparent charm aren't freaking enough. He's gotta play on the French ladies in their own language too? Too much. The one-time asshole antagonist from Wedding Crashers has sent his stock into the stratosphere with this tidbit.

Why am I making such a big deal about this? Yahoo! had the audacity to call this finding his "hidden talent". Are you freaking kidding me? If Joe Schmo out of nowhere starts speaking fluent French all of a sudden, do you know what we'd call him? "Bilingual." Yahoo! is right in that he's talented, but it's clearly not hidden now.

"I am Pepé Le Pew without le stink."

Ok, how do I assess my ability to possibly duplicate any of his success? Checklist!

• International movie star? Crap. This could be hard.
• Charming, boyish appeal, and good looks? I have been told this is possible, so half-check.
• Rugged scruffy facial hair? CHECK!
• Make women on Twitter "swoon"? Impossible because I refuse to sign up for Twitter. Booyah.
• Mastery of Romantic language? Looking into Rosetta Stone as we speak.

Ugh. A lot of work to do.

Anyway, can we get a slow clap going for this man? I would be haterifficly (yes, I just made that up just now) jealous if I weren't so damned impressed. Which reminds me: I really need to visit the gym.

BFD (Big F'ing Deal) #1: Pomplamoose

[This is the start of my BFD series, in which I break down either my utter disdain or unabashed awe for something in particular. The following post is going to be the former.]

If these guys look familiar, it's because they are: those annoying holiday Hyundai commercials with the indie-ish versions of our favorite Christmas carols are sung by none other than this quirky duo. Link to "Up on the Housetop"

To put it shortly, these guys make me want to rip my ears out and donate them to impoverished children in third world countries. Check that: I would rather sell one of my own kidneys and use the proceeds to listen to the sound of hundreds of chalkboards fingernail scratched simultaneously by midgets little people. This music just exudes the wrong end of the indie music spectrum: your gimmicky emotionless harmonies don't make you hipster cool (and don't let bad purveyors of music who think this is somehow "fresh" make you consider otherwise). I'm actually STEAMING angry as I write this. Somebody please agree with me so that I won't have to shoot myself tonight. BFD.

Recipe for insanity emulsion: 2 parts annoying harmony, 1 part aloof face, 1 part faux-hipster mentality, 3 parts obnoxiousness. Mix via blender. Lather into ears for maximum effect.